Ballmer Throws A Chair At “F*ing Google”

A reliable source has passed along a legal document in the ongoing lawsuit between Google and Microsoft over Google's hiring of Kai-Fu Lee. The document is the "Declaration of Mark Lucovsky" in the case. Lucovsky was a distinguished engineer at Microsoft who defected to Google in November of 2004….

FuckinggoogleA reliable source has passed along a legal document in the ongoing lawsuit between Google and Microsoft over Google’s hiring of Kai-Fu Lee. The document is the “Declaration of Mark Lucovsky” in the case. Lucovsky was a distinguished engineer at Microsoft who defected to Google in November of 2004. His statement makes for some pretty interesting reading, to say the least.

The statement reads in part:

Prior to joining Google, I set up a meeting on or about November 11, 2004 with Microsoft’s CEO Steve Ballmer to discuss my planned departure….At some point in the conversation Mr. Ballmer said: “Just tell me it’s not Google.” I told him it was Google.

At that point, Mr. Ballmer picked up a chair and threw it across the room hitting a table in his office. Mr. Ballmer then said: “Fucking Eric Schmidt is a fucking pussy. I’m going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I’m going to fucking kill Google.” ….

Thereafter, Mr. Ballmer resumed trying to persuade me to stay….Among other things, Mr. Ballmer told me that “Google’s not a real company. It’s a house of cards.”

UPDATE: This has hit the wires.

92 thoughts on “Ballmer Throws A Chair At “F*ing Google””

  1. Wow, that’s some juicy gossip. I’ll bet Mr. Ballmer will be pleased that his little hissy fit is posted for the world to see. If Google is just a house of cards, what’s he so worried about?? hmmm.

  2. Ballmer is not worried about google. that’s WHY he said he would burry them. granted google will be a strong contender against microsoft.but do you Really think the microsoft empire will lose?! doubt it.

  3. It could be argued that Microsoft has the means to kill Google at this point. All they have to do is launch their own adsense, sell adspace for very cheap, and pay websites that display them a lot. Microsoft could afford to do this to the ridiculous extent — to the point where it’s an insane loss in revenue until they take the relevant ad market away from Google. I’m scared to say it, but Google doesn’t actually have a stable, reliable income at this point. Their stock offering and Google Earth Pro isn’t enough revenue to survive an all out war with M$.

  4. (continuation of last post) Googlestore.com won’t save them either. They need to start releasing products that cut at the core of the microsoft empire. An office sweet, browser, OS, the works

  5. Looking at my server logs, Google owns almost as much of the search market as Microsoft does the OS and word-processing markets. But of course it’s much easier to change search engines than operating systems….

    I wonder if we’ll ever see a Google-branded OpenOffice, or more direct support from them for Firefox and Linux. Given Microsoft’s enmity, the only way Google can survive in the long term is if it can reduce MS’ stranglehold on its core markets.

  6. I love that this “hit the wires” at the Google-blacklisted C-Net.

    This is an example of a positive publicity story for Google being disseminated by C-Net. The glaring omission of a comment from Our Friends In Mountain View just reflects poorly on them for their absurd punitive action. C-Net is a reputable news organization and blacklisting them only hurts Google on this story when it should be a perceived as a big PR gain vis a vis Ballmer’s immature tirade. Duh.

  7. Ballmer is a bonehead
    Gates is a geek
    Microsloft is a methagenic conglomeration of clusterf*cked meglomaniacs

    Google WILL prevail 🙂

  8. Imagine being in the room and having to put up with this. Ballmer delivered a fantastic demonstration of exactly why people prefer to work at Google.

  9. There is something unsettling about a billionaire throwing chairs and cursing over the loss of help.

    Clearly Microsoft is shaken by Google.

  10. i think many of you have the wrong idea here. the future will not be in OS and browsers, nor will it be in office suites. if microsoft doesnt change with the times, google will “win” by default. what makes it hard for microsoft is that google is #1 in “information” all around the world, and the rest of the world hasnt been developed nearly to the extent that the US has. google already has a strong market hold in ads, searching, and even some social networks with orkut. orkut is absolutely huge in other parts of the world, including brazil and iran. as it happens these places are also anti-microsoft and pro-open source.

    all google does is route information. as this becomes more core to how people live, what made microsoft rich (and what keeps them rich) will eventually be phased out. googles core competency as essential for the “future,” while a branded browser and DRM-able OS are really not. even if microsoft retains a stronghold in the US, the rest of the world will have more use for google, with linux and open-office and the like gaining popularity.

    microsoft’s core markets are bound to shrink, and already are (for example, apple and linux have been growing in market share). not to mention that in the future OS’s will have to either be totally open or totally controlled by a single monopoly (whether this monopoly be a corporation or government sponsored “laws”). which do you think it will be? this is why microsoft has such a strong investment in entertainment with the xbox, DRM solutions, and “the windows media player.” (and more).

    as for google’s core market, we have barely begun to see the value in intuitive information processing with google search and more recently gmail. as google extends talk, gmail, and other personalization features with tools like orkut, they will begin to offer solutions for “resource allocation” in a local way but on a global scale. think elance meets orkut and craiglists, but all done with the intuitive nature of gmail and google search. this will extend to your work, your play, managing your past and planning your future, all by building the pipes for other peoples info to flow through. (what was the first profitable web company? thats right ebay. what do they sell? the pipes.)

    i cant wait 🙂

    one more thing, microsoft cant just enter the ad market and operate at a loss to beat out google. besides that google does it better, heavy handed business tactices like these are what pushed microsoft into anti-trust court in the past…

  11. I love the arrogance of Ballmer!
    It’s what caused ME to use Firefox instead of
    Internet Explorer. And the cheapie are easier and
    FASTER to use for me to grab pictures with and
    get them into my files! NO fifteen rows of Toolbar
    to distract me, just FASTER!

  12. Isn’t this just how the guys over at the Onion would draw up a Ballmer response to a Google defection?

    It’s wonderful when life imitates art.

  13. I find the Google brand advocates funny. Google is indeed a house of card. And the reason is simple – if Google ceases to exist tommorrow, it would not matter to me or the majority of the Internet. There are plenty of ‘search’ technology out there.

    But don’t worry Google hypsters – Steve cannot defeat Google because Steve is a corporate guy where Google is not orthodox. That reason alone is why MSN Search will always be generic

  14. I’ve been a long term hater of MS simply because I came from a UNIX background and hence supported open source. OS advocates have a legitimate right to fight against MS. But how can people support Google against MS? They are both corporations. Very very rich ones at that. They both exploit customers and investors (Google is placing more over-inflated shares just to cash in), and they gobble up promising new technologies from small rivals. Both produce “innovations” that are just gimmicks. I prefer to be suspicious of both and prefer the solace of the OS movement. I think it’s somewhat pathetic for ordinary people with no vested interest in the corp to shout from the rooftops how cool Google is.

  15. We’ll never know for sure, but it seems very much in character. Steve Ballmer
    enthuses with the best of the alpha males, and the downside of enthusiasm is
    volatility.

    There is plenty of search technology out there; there just isn’t much that’s very
    good. Yahoo and Ask Jeeves have cleaned up their acts largely in response to the
    Google challenge. MSN Search is an unfunny joke, and AOL is even worse– though, to
    be fair, MSN could pull off a radical improvement along with Vista. Bottom line,
    without Google’s influence, search might still be about 2001-level, plus text ads.

    No offense, Malcolm, but I got a big kick out of your username– the ultimate
    capitalist. The answer to your question seems rooted in the OS movement to me.
    Google, like Linux et al, has sold itself as a scrappy underdog acting For The
    Benefit of All. Google’s user base is just fine, but Google fans are getting less
    rabid and less numerous. A seven-billion-dollar company needs few cheerleaders.

    T Campbell
    Search Engine Funnies
    http://www.webcomicsnation.com/t

  16. Randy, this IS sworn legal testimony. We have very good reason to believe it. Most people (despite what Bill Clinton will tell you) DON’T want to take the risk of lying under oath. Sure, it could be false, just as anything could, but the odds are that it’s true.

  17. Ballmer is an angry, foulmouthed blowhard at times? Where’s the news? At least as far as this particular non-compete is concerned, I don’t think it really matters much.

    Where he will regret it, however, is if Google ever decides to smack MS with an anti-trust suit of any kind. Language like, “I’m going to fucking kill [any competitor]” plays very, very, very badly with judges, juries and attorneys general. Take it from someone who spent years in the trenches of the telco wars. The folks in charge of keeping monopolies in check are not big fans of the key players at the biggest companies in hugely important industries using language like that.

    We’re not supposed to “kill” our competitors, Steve. We’re supposed to compete with them. That’s how we get better products, cheaper prices, etc.

    Whoopsie. Pay no attention to that man behind the big, blue screen of death.

  18. Hey John!

    I did a Gooooogle search for the sentence;

    ‘Ballmer Throws A Chair At F*ing Gooooogle’

    and got I two hits. Then I did another search with the sentence;

    ‘Ballmer Throws A Chair At Fucking Gooooogle’,

    and got seven hits, which leads me to believe he threw a fucking chair at Gooooole.

    Chalk one up for accuracy in media!

    R. Warlov

  19. Google is just a bunch of PhDs trying to screw some money and get laid. They have no product, no income, no long term strategy and no future. Google is possibly last but deffinitely biggest dot com baloon about to do the typical dotcom boooooom… I just imagine Booom logo in Google colour letters.

  20. I have never been to GOOGA and hopefully won’t since the name don’t sound right to me. Still looking for a good one besides MSN because it keeps loading TEREDO on my computer that slows everything down here on my computer and hate it so much! Any other better search engine or browser ideas?

  21. Steve B. sounds like the overflated, dumbass ex-jock that he is. History will remember his pedestrian comments and lackluster accomplishments. He’s a sycophant buffoon riding on the tails of milquetoast programmers (Gates and Allen). Rich, of course, but hardly one to be admired.

  22. While the outburst may have been over the top, not to mention a legal faux pas that will be quoted in future antitrust lawsuits, I’ve got to kind of admire a billionaire CEO who’s not a drone in a suit, who’s not pillaging his own company, and who apparently still has lots of competitive fire in his belly.

  23. Finally, there is a viable competitor and serious thorn to Bill Gate and company. It’s frustrating that we are forced to buy their faulty products and have to wait for them to tell you to come back later for the patches time and time again. You keep hearing how they squeeze out smaller companies who dare to challenge them. Whether Google has become one of the big boys is not the point. At least they are not focusing on setting up a monopoly. I may be naive, but I’ll give Google the benefit of doubt when they state they will try to do no evil.

  24. Finally, there is a viable competitor and serious thorn to Bill Gate and company. It’s frustrating that we are forced to buy their faulty products and have to wait for them to tell you to come back later for the patches time and time again. You keep hearing how they squeeze out smaller companies who dare to challenge them. Whether Google has become one of the big boys is not the point. At least they are not focusing on setting up a monopoly. I maybe naive, but I’ll give Google the benefit of doubt when they state they will try to do no evil.

  25. From all the stuff I have heard about Googles OS I have to say that I cant wait. As a windows and Mandrake user I have to admit that MS is getting worse everyday. When someone can download a free OS thats just as good or better in many respects as one that costs between $85 to over $1700 for a single copy that has so many bugs that have to be patched constantly. The big question is why would someone do that. I cant wait till Mandrake comes up with some of the programs I run under winblows.

  26. Wow.!!!
    Some Story… Hey guys i think there is some string attached to google hiring Dr.Lee &other MS Professionals…

    firstly … Every one knows that google seems to be the only company which (If wanted) can directly go for the kill towards MS. b/c of the popularity it is gaining….

    Second … its been quite a long time since open systyems are in much need of a strong support from a comapny which can lift them to to a position where they can match to Windows ( google’s support could prove to be significant in this case) ….

    Hey wait is it the missing link…. !!!!

    Is google really building an OS… with the help of the global communiti (Or rather we-hate-MS community) .. If yes then it could prove to be serious gamble for google. which if proved rightly then could see the rise of GOOGLE (Read MS days r over) .

    We’ll r the days coming when we’ll here the making of “Goondows” (Thats a first) ……

  27. I feel very sorry for that chair.
    By the way my family has a good running chair business. Can anyone help me to introduce myself and this business to Microsoft? For sure they will now be interested in buying us. And Steve will also understand that Google has no chairs yet, creating the unique opportunity to marketeer and sell the single chair concept to the world.
    Ballmer should understand that competition in software is already dead: MS-Office, Windows, Internet Explorer, Exchange, … all these products rule by far the world and they all belong to Microsoft.
    It is time Microsoft starts to ultimately undertand that competition is anywhere but in software. The company now starting to invest in monopolizing all other but software products is going to master the world totally. Imagine: one washing powder, one kind of rice, one crude oil, one car (professional and home), tv sets, phones, planes … it will all luckily belong to MS. Then Google dies automatically: no one will ever have to search for anything any more.
    So, that is your strategy, Steve. Do not try to imitate Googles. Go for the kill, don’t take prisoners. And start with chairs, my dearest family’s business. We are for sale at a reasonable price.

  28. As much as I adore Linux and hate Microsoft everybody here is wayy off. How can you say that a search engine is the next ‘holy grail’ of computing? Who actually believes that Google will come out with an OS? These seem like VERY forwarding-thinking ideals from a company that’s only released sister products to its core competency, search.

    Without an OS how will you get there?

    The only real threat to the MS monopoly is the open source movement. I say Open Source b/c Linux alone won’t win it. It’s Webservers, Mail servers, the OS, Office productivity suites, CMS systems, CRM systems, etc. that will eventually eat away MS marketshare and shut MS down. Unfortunately, I don’t see the strength that I’d like to in the open source movement.

    Google is an information service. Without the means of getting to it how can you say that it will defeat MS alone? The OS and Office Productivity suites are where business spends it’s time, not so much on the ‘Net. At least those that actually are in business, doing business, or making an honest profit.

    As much as I’ve seen AJAX hyped it’s not a desktop app replacement by any means. Ever had Google Earth time out and just go to la la land? Ever seen it be as quick and responsive as Open Office or Word? I really doubt it…. When I can have an office suite online, have it be as usable and fast as a fat client revision, and have flexible data interchange (e.g. local, secure storage anyone?) then I’ll see Google making an Office suite or OS. Many have tried, all have insofar failed. Until they can get past the previously insurmountably hurdles then I don’t see jack squat happening from Google being competition to MS.

    You guys are all a little off in the head…screw it back on and think about your ‘predictions’.

    Frankly, I think Balmer is just a little pissed that (most likely due to anti-trust) he can’t sink Google overnight through the cost-cutting on MSN ads that somebody else already posted…

    Finally, I do online advertising and got better business responsiveness by a factor of 3 through MSN paid inclusion vs. Google ads. Where did I send the lion’s share of my business?

  29. Dave;

    “As much as I’ve seen AJAX hyped it’s not a desktop app replacement by any means. Ever had Google Earth time out and just go to la la land?”

    Google Earth has nothing to do with AJAX.
    Perhaps you mean Google Maps?

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