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April Fools!

By - March 31, 2010

I was going to post…

…That Twitter had been sold, for 1.75 billion, to Google (who would pay that, I’d reckon).

…That MySpace had been sold, for 250 million, to Viacom (who would pay that, just to rub it into Murdoch’s face).

…That Google had announced it was only kidding about China, and was ready to play ball again with the PRC.

…That Facebook had made all public actions available in its API (oh wait, that’s going to be true!)

….That Foursquare announced it was no longer doing high profile deals and instead was going to focus on its product.

….That Yahoo and AOL were merging.

….That Microsoft had won the iPhone and iPad search business

…That Apple was opening up the iTunes store to web crawling, made peace with Adobe, and was launching an effort to create an SDK that ported iPhone/Pad apps to Android

…That Amazon had launched a payment business to compete with PayPal

…That eBay had bought Skype, again.

….and that Nokia had bought RIM.

But…April’s Fools is so boring now, ain’t it?

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8 thoughts on “April Fools!

  1. Ahad Bokhari says:

    Especially like #1 :-)

  2. emv x man says:

    My favourite – #10.
    And louis – a man determined to be the fool with his links to his handbag collection.

  3. coxy says:

    I’m glad I came to this post; I need a new handbag.

  4. John says:

    Guys I cleared out the spam. Sorry HandBag Louis.

  5. Mao Ze Wrong says:

    Goodbye google, China welcomes its first homegrown English search engine:
    Choogling
    Beijing – in China, no more googling. Get ready for choogling!
    Beijing-based CSR announces today the beta-test release of the first-ever international search engine, completely conceived and coded in China, and devised with the Chinese market in mind: http://www.choogling.com
    The name, as it sounds, is a blend of China + googling = choogling. But choogling is derived from “chu-ge,” (the sounds of a people surrounded by enemies) and “ling” (clever, as in response to a sharp insult). Taken together, choogling is a clever retort to google and the world.
    Choogling will offer fast, uncensored searches, using innovative switches to offer results that can either be authentic or in keeping with Chinese views. The new search engine will go online later this month, following extensive testing.
    Choogling is the first in a line of integrated services, which will include ling-lingmail, a global positioning system (choogps), and an innovative social networking system synchronized across internet and mobile systems (ichoogling – think twitter, facebook and youtube, all banned in China, wrapped together).
    Together with local partners, CSR plans to launch, later in the year, a new online encyclopedia with correct Chinese takes on current events and world history: chipedia
    Complete details: http://chinareallysucks.com/Site/New_Stuff/New_Stuff.html
    Interviews available with CSR director Mao Ze Wrong
    Contact: chinareallysucks@gmail.com

  6. It’s only boring if you keep doing the same old thing.

  7. Jonah says:

    John, turns out that Apple quietly did open iTunes to web crawlers some time last year. Its not exactly optimized, but it is crawlable.

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=site%3Aitunes.apple.com

    As for making peace with Adobe, maybe buying Adboe is what Jobs should be doing with Apple’s war chest..