Matt over at The Standard points me to this parody of Yahoo’s CAP program, which gets just about nothing right in terms of the presumptive pay for performance approach that it parodies, but is a pretty funny riff on what would happen if News Search was opened up to any bidder…
Organizations that are willing to spend the most will achieve the most prominent positions on the news pages, remaining in place until they are outbid by competitors. Although there will be no revenue payoff for news stories that rank high up the pages and gets lots of clicks, the program is certain to touch off a “share of mind” battle among news organizations–and, for the first time, allow the man on the street to tell his story without interference from editors…..
…Historically, professional journalists who were trained to separate wheat from chaff and remain utterly objective have decided what constitutes news stories and which ones deserve the most prominent “play” in newspapers, newscasts, and increasingly, online. That is, when they are not making up news stories, because it is easier than gathering the facts–and with some creative flare, can lead to prestigious journalism prizes. The Yahoo! “News Search” program essentially eliminates editors as gatekeepers to what constitutes news.
The piece includes some funny false headlines:
GIRLS SMARTER THAN BOYS – A study today released by Wellesley College is said to provide the first incontrovertible evidence that..
AOL REVENUES PUSH TIME WARNER STOCK HIGHER – Time Warner today announced that its America Online division was performing beyond all expectations and that Wall Street had finally taken notice as the parent company’s stock price soared..
PEEWEE GOALIE TURNS AWAY 12 SHOTS – the son of billionaire George Soros yesterday turned away 12 shots on goal in a 23-4 loss to the..